Where does the time go?? In this moment I am feeling a tremendous amount of sadness as I remember my niece, Lisa, and my dearest friend Diane, both of whom have made their transition to Spirit. For Lisa it has been 36 years and for Diane 13 years. It’s so surreal to me that it’s been so many years and yet it feels on so many levels as if it just happened. I don’t mean to compare my feelings for them to those I feel for my dog, Angel, and fortunately Diane would totally understand, but the emotions I feel whenever I deeply connect with the fact that they are no longer in this dimension with me are still so incredibly palpable and painful that it momentarily takes my breath away. It is as if I relive the moments of their passing in a split second all over again.
Why do we need to calculate how many years it’s been? I really don’t remember these numbers off the top of my head. And yet I find I’m figuring out the number of years for my niece by calculating the year my nephew was born and moving forward in time and with Diane, I always remember she transitioned the year of 9/11. It’s so odd how our brains function and how we need to somehow find an organized way of addressing the deepest emotions that we experience to somehow make some sense out of them.
As illogical as it may seem, I find myself asking each year on these anniversaries and sometimes more often, have I honored their memories in a good way? Have I grieved enough? Am I remembering them often enough? “Should” I be doing something differently? In the way that I am remembering them all, am I being the best I can be as a best friend, an Auntie and someone who so loved my dear pet as a friend?
It’s so ridiculous when you bring the logical part of the mind into the experience. But truth be told, grieving is not about logic. Grieving is about the experience of feeling emotions. Therefore, there is no logic that will help us to make sense out of it all. We are best served by simply allowing ourselves to feel our feelings and move through them in the best way we know how. And when we feel stuck, it is wise to ask for help from those we trust with our hearts to assist us in moving through the experience and finding our way back to our Heart of Love where our inner peace abounds.
So what am I going to do today to address all this emotion I’m feeling? Well, first of all, I’m giving myself permission to feel all that I am feeling and loving myself through it the best I can. And as you can see, I’m writing and sharing these thoughts and wisdom, which I was guided to do, in the hopes that it will be of some help to someone who reads it. I’m also lighting candles and saying prayers of love and gratitude for all the love these wonderful beings shared with me and gave me the opportunity to share with them.
Rituals to honor those that have transitioned date back to the beginning of humanity. They are neither right nor wrong, good or bad, they simply are what they are. It is healing and self-loving to observe the rituals that comfort us, honor our journey and remind us that we are still alive and that our lives have purpose.
What I know is, I was born into this realm for a reason. My soul’s purpose is to learn how to be consciously connected to my Heart of Love, live my human journey from this place and teach others how to do the same. How do I do this? One moment at a time. It’s that simple. Feeling the emotions of grief are but one aspect of the human experience from which we have an opportunity to learn this lesson.
In this moment, I invite you to breathe into and out of your Heart of Love. It’s that divine space in the center of your chest. Place your hands on this place and focus your breathing there for a few moments and as you do, imagine the color of Love. See that color surrounding you like a beautiful bubble of light, breathing that light of Love into and out of your Heart of Love, expanding your conscious connection to this light in all the cells in your body, from each strand of hair down to the smallest cell of skin at the bottom of your feet and every cell in between until all you see, sense, feel, hear and know is that you are filled and surrounded by this exquisite Light of Love. Now consider sending this Light of Love to surround your family and friends and then to all of humanity around the Earth and to Mother Earth herself – a gift of Love. When you feel complete, bring your focus back to your Heart of Love, take a few more breaths and with gratitude be in the next moments of your day.
With blessings of gratitude and peace,
Ilene Gottlieb, The Heart Healer